WHY SOUL MATES FIGHT

>

Soul mates are now coming together at an increasing rate, like never before. This coming together is no fluke or accident, but it is due to the rising vibrational frequency of the planet that is forcing like frequency vibrational people, placing and things to gravitate towards each other. This gravitational pull is serving a higher purpose, and this purpose is to quicken humanity to a healthier and whole state. Humanity has done a ‘banged up’ job thus far, but the evolutionary process popularly coined ‘ascension’ is offering us another opportunity to align all things from the standpoint of a Higher consciousness perspective.

Soul mates play a pivotal role in the spiritual evolutionary process. We as soul mates hold the greatest potential to amass and disseminate spiritual light and to correct the dysfunctional inherited relationship template of previous generations. Soul mates, as they begin to connect with their higher self will create a healthier and wholesome template for relationships throughout humanity. This is a very tll order for some, but it is a process that has already been set into motion.

Traditional Relationship mode

The traditional relationship modality severely leaves out the high spiritual qualities such as unconditional love, compassion, sharing, cooperation, humility and reverence. It has mostly been an institution of control, manipulation and garnering material goods and external power. The traditional relationship has become a perpetuation of disparity and pain that has etched its way deep down into our cellular DNA and has imprinted itself in our emotional and ethereal bodies. The traditional relationship modality is the original weapon of mass destruction.

The Transitional Stages

Without a doubt, if you have come into the soul mate energy, be it that you have connected with your Twin Flame or your Vibrational Soul Mate, you have earned this connection. You have put in some amount of spiritual growth that has afforded you this highly Divine status, but this does not mean you can now rest on your laurels. This mean s you are now ready to focus ALL of your attention on correcting the impediments that have and will prevent you from connecting with your Higher Self, and reaching your highest potential as a spiritually evolving human being.

Salutation of the Spirit

So how does this connection with our soul mates evolve us spiritually? See, outside our conscious awareness, this beautiful, exciting man or woman slips into our frontal view. They make no loud announcement, but suddenly everything shift and comes alive inside of us. This overwhelming feel of emotions we term ‘love’ literally intoxicate us. This is what I term the ‘Salutations of the Spirit’. It’s a coming home of spiritual lovers, a recognition of each other at a Soul level.

The Acquaintance Period

What’s known to follow this Salutation is ‘the acquaintance’ period. You and your beloved begin to get to know each other, validate compatibility, and the strengthening of the ethereal bond. This period is absolutely euphoric, and feels like infatuation, but it’s is NOT, it is not merely an insatiable ‘liking’, it’s a deep soul satisfying spiritual love bond.

The bond accelerates as the days go by. The magnetic pull towards each other is extremely intense and mind boggling to most, because here they are in love with a complete stranger, that may live half way across the world or country, yet they are not a stranger, they are as familiar to you as an extension of your body. Now in comes the ‘struggle period’.

The Struggle Period

This is the period when things get really ugly! During this period, soul mates try their best to force their understanding of how a relationship is suppose to take form., but they find that they cannot apply the old relationship formats to a spiritual union. The old relationship format is incompatible to one of the spiritual. The old format demands that we apply low vibrational behaviors and thinking to MAKE a union take form, and the spiritual union excludes this application.

See, the soul mate energy deals only in love, truth and higher consciousness, and it repels any energetic pattern that does not include these higher qualities. So when soul mates force the old relationship application to the Higher Consciousness or Unconditional love application, you literally repel a each other. No force or manipulation tactics on the earthly or ascended realm will bring the two of you together as long as you continue to relate to one another from a low vibrational energy field.

The Soul Mate Shuffle

The soul mate energy, during the initial coming together, main concern is to force you to connect with your Higher Self, and to begin to emanate Higher spiritual qualities. This process is done energetically. If one or both soul mates are vibrating at a low energetic level, then you will repel each other. The love will still remain, the bond will still remain, but your frequency will not match. This infrequency serves a higher purpose. It forces each soul mate into their individual ‘corners’, so that they can focus on discovering, and correcting the emotional and behavior dysfunctional patterns. Say you are a male with issues of insecurity and self worth and your beloved is a smart, very beautiful and spiritually assured woman. Without her ‘doing’ anything ‘to’ you, just her presence will ignite your emotional and behavioral pattern. You may try to bully her or make her jealous by giving your attention to other women or activities. Your beloved will see right through this and will pull herself away. The intensity of the males lower vibrational tactics will hurt the both of them so deeply that they will need a break to understand what is happening. Now the similar pattern can be found in women as well, but the main idea of this is to show that the dance is one of energy and vibration. And it may take some time for each or both of the individuals to realize just how they manipulate, control, enable or bully in relationships. Once that realization happens, they must try to correct these impediment within self.

You would think, during this intense dance that the couples would split apart forever, never to see that ‘evil person’ again. But nope, the magnetic pull does not easily go away, and for good reason. The pull forces us to keep moving forward in our own spiritual development. Remember, the goal of this energy is to get you to connect with your Higher Self, and to emanate Higher Spiritual qualities. It can careless about how long it takes, our sexual yearns, or that our biological clock is ticking. All else outside of spiritual growth is secondary.

This shuffle will continue until each person does the work on healing and correcting individually. Each person’s issues vary, but they usually compliment the others issues. For example, you may be an award winning enabler, and you find that your beloved has issues of accountability and self worth. So therefore, just like a lock and key, when YOU work out your dysfunction, our beloved has no choice but to shift into the healthier energetic ‘lock’. BUT the problem comes in when we take the focus off of our growth and start analyzing and blaming our beloved as the one with the problem, therefore, back into the ‘corner’ we go until we get it right.

In Conclusion

The soul mate energy is here to dismantle the ridiculously painful and highly dramatic relationship patterns of the past. It’s spiritual in nature, so it CAN NOT be approached from a physical standpoint. This connection serves a Higher Purpose to heal you and heal humanity. It is your soul work, you did not stumble upon this, you signed up for this, or it would not be happening! So your best bet is to buckle down, cut the crap and get to work. As Spirit to reveal to you what you need healing the most, and the Law of Attraction will bring to you circumstances, and people to assist you, but they cannot do the work for you. TRUST THE PROCESS and GO WITH THE FLOW. The moment you resist, is the moment you allow unnecessary pain to seep into your union and stunt your development. Much love to all of us Soul Mates, and I am always here to clarify and assist you.

Your Friend,

Keesha

Keesha Michelle Washington is a Spiritual Life Guide that supports men and women in living in integrity with their spiritual values and principles. She also assists men and women in finding and maintaining spiritual relationships. She is available to answer questions about spiritual relationships and spiritual growth. You can learn more about her service work by visiting her websites.

TESTIMONIAL
"Keesha truly is a gift from Spirit. Her ability to put you to ease in her readings is just one of the amazing talents she displays during the time you spend with her. Not only is she accurate, intuitive in every sense of the word, she empowers you to follow your own intuition even after you've finished your conversation. Her way of making you feel at home and comfortable is what helped me truly open up to her. She has a candid way of being direct, and if necessary, blunt, but comes to you in such a loving, nurturing manner that you can't help but stare at your issues right in the face."~Kristine, Canada

5 PRINICPLES F SELF LOVE

Sometimes we find ourselves in very chaotic and dysfunctional positions in our lives, and we may go to a friend or an elder for direction and support, and it seems without fail, they’d give advice along the lines that echoes, “well, you need to love yourself more.” It sounds right, so keep quiet and listen, but all the while we are trying to conceptualize in our minds, well what is self love? I don’t hate myself, so what is it that they are seeing in me that shows that I m not loving myself?

Self love is such a vast arena, and it means specific things to each person. But to simplify this very broad subject, what I can say that pertains to all of us in self love, is that it is not just merely a feeling of love for oneself, but it’s an ACT.

Let’s look at the definition of love and all that it takes to sustain a loving relationship. It takes five Principles for love to be maintained:

1. The ability to TRUST; to trust that what maybe occurring in our love one’s life has a Divine purpose, so we trust the unfoldment process.

2.The ability to ALLOW; The ability to allow people to choose what’s best for them, even if it means they choose not to be in our lives anymore.

3.The ability to ACCEPT: The ability to accept the path that they take, even if it appears to be self destructive to us.

4.The ability to be KIND; To be kind, even when we are still judging and discerning what is going on.

5.The ability to have FAITH; faith in the ability that people can change in more positive ways.

These are examples of what we aspire to give in a relationship with others. Now in the case of loving oneself, all we do is turn these outward acts and expressions of loving for someone else onto ourselves.

Self love is all about the way we behave towards ourselves to help make our lives more productive, healthy and peaceful. For example, say if you have recently come into the awareness that you are living too far above your means. You are tired of paying for a lifestyle that no longer serves you. So you decide to let go of the unnecessary things in your life. By doing this, your life becomes less stressful, and you are able to make room for to include more activities, people and situations that truly represent you.

By committing these acts of self love you are applying the 5 principles in making your decision. One; you are Trusting that making the change to reducing your overhead cost in your lifestyle is going to bring a positive outcome for you, even though you have no tangle proof that it will. Two;Allowing yourself the room to make that change knowing that you may initial have some difficulties letting go of things you have grown accustomed to, or allowing yourself to feel the emotions of choices that you made that lead up to this now overburdened lifestyle. Three; Acceptingthat however these changes turn out is for your highest good. Four; Kindness, not to beat ourselves up for choices we have made in the past or for not instantly growing use to the said changes. Five; Faith in by making this change it can now be a permanent way of being, so that you no longer allow yourself to live out of your personal integrity.

So in a nutshell, self love is all about taking action in your life in the areas that you can control. To no longer allow ourselves to be set up to feel and be victimized by life’s circumstances. Little by little, we can make these changes and begin to feel better and live by standards that are uniquely our own. This will enable us to love others in more expansive ways because we are taking care of ‘home first’.

Your Friend,

Keesha
Keesha Michelle Washington is a Spiritual Life Guide/Advisor that supports men and women in living in integrity with their spiritual values and principles. She also assists men and women in finding and maintaining spiritual relationships. She is available to answer questions about spiritual relationships and spiritual growth. You can learn more about her service work by visiting her websites.

VIBRATIONAL LOVE MATES

Please throw away all those magazines and books that tell you what to wear, and how to act to get a partner. Unless they are talking about vibrational frequency, they are misleading you away from the truth. The information generated by the mainstream media on mating and dating only focuses on the physical maneuvering of matter. But the truth is, we are first vibrational beings with the awesome power to attract and repel energy in all forms. So wouldn’t it be wise to handle all maneuvering from an energetic standpoint.


Stop going to the clubs, the bars and online singles website, unless synchronistic events have lead you there but if you really want to find your mate there are several things that you can do to deliberately draw them into your reality.

KNOW YOURSELF:

What are your values? What are the principles you live by? What are your personality and spiritual strengths? What are your goals? What are your known personality impediments and what are you doing to address them? It is so important to at least begin understanding how you operate because when your match is drawn to you, you will know that they are the one. Do not worry if you can’t answer all of the questions, because some questions cannot be fully realized until you are actually in a relationship where challenges may force you to take stock or reevaluate who you say you are and what you say you believe. So, my suggestion is for you to take some time to write out these questions and answers.

UNDERSTAND YOUR PAST

What do you think a new relationship will provide for you than your previous relationships? What has been the pattern in your previous relationships? Where were you strong in the dynamic? Where were you weak? What can you now contribute in a new relationship? What are you willing to learn from a new relationship?

See, we jump from one person to the next thinking that we will get a ‘fresh start’ from the misery or confusion from the former connection, but in truth, you bring yourself where ever you go and you also bring your past. Although it’s nearly impossible to clean up all of your ‘issues’ before entering a new connection, believe me when I tell you that you will be ahead of the game If you at least attempt to own up to the part you played. Also it’s a great thing to know not only the drama you create, but your areas of strength, we all have them, but often overlook them.

UNDERSTANDING YOUR EXPECTATIONS ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS

Oh, this is a biggie. We all have expectations about what a relationship looks and feels like. We have our tastes on how we believe they should operate, but what I want you to observe in yourself is these questions: Where did I get my ideas about relationships? Do they serve me for who I am right now in life? From what I have learned through my personal experience, what do I now believe about relationships?

WHAT WOULD I LIKE IN A MATE?

We are all drawn to a pretty face and beautiful body, but those are the first to go out of the window when you find that that pretty face and beautiful body lacks integrity and inner security. So what is it that you really seek in a mate? Are you a light worker where service is a strong priority? Are you a high energy person who seeks a less energetic person to provide balance to your energy? Do you have children or want children? What values and principles would you like to share with this person?

We need to know what the Universe is delivering to us, so if the person is not quite what you wanted, you can clarify your list.

WHAT DO I HAVE TO CONTRIBUTE

We just have to go into relationships from a place of empowerment and self sufficiency. This needy, guilt-ridden, manipulative controls has to be put to bed, it’s tacky, hurtful and counterproductive. So with this in mind, what is it that you are willing to contribute to the connection?

Our relationships are changing folks, and we must change as well. The games, manipulations and illogical ways of relating to each other are being quickly snuffed out by Spirit. We must learn to get use to seeing ourselves as vibrational beings that has the power to attract anything that we want in our lives. We must also take personal responsibility for all of our manifestations, knowing that we do have the ability to change whatever it is that no longer serves us.

One of the most disturbing trends that I see in both men and especially in women, is forcing love connections. When a man or woman crosses your path and you are attracted to them, please know that that is only the beginning. But in time, if you find that you do not share important values, ideas and principles, its best to end the connection right then and there. See what is happening is, your vibrational frequency that drew the two of you together, was not enough to keep you together. One or the other has changed frequency, and that’s alright, it happens, they are not the one. The one, will flow with you on a vibrational level, and although you will not always be at the same frequency all the time, your energy will automatically support one another creating a very strong spiritual bond. This is energy, so threatening, screaming, guilting and crying will do nothing for you or your connection. Learn to get still ans focus your energy. Remember also that everyone ain’t for everybody, and a wise and focused person will know this as truth by accepting it and moving on

I hope this information has served you by offering you some insight on the truth of manifestation in the area of relationships. Be honest and gentle because we live in an honest, loving, wise and compassionate Universe that always seeks to give to us our hearts desire, so my goal is to help you to understand exactly what it is in your heart you seek. Blessings always.
Keesha Michelle Washington is a Spiritual Life Guide that supports men and women in living in integrity with their spiritual values and principles. She also assists men and women in finding and maintaining spiritual relationships. She is available to answer questions about spiritual relationships and spiritual growth through her inbox here on FaceBook . You can learn more about her service work by visiting her websites.
TESTIMONIAL
"Keesha truly is a gift from Spirit. Her ability to put you to ease in her readings is just one of the amazing talents she displays during the time you spend with her. Not only is she accurate, intuitive in every sense of the word, she empowers you to follow your own intuition even after you've finished your conversation. Her way of making you feel at home and comfortable is what helped me truly open up to her. She has a candid way of being direct, and if necessary, blunt, but comes to you in such a loving, nurturing manner that you can't help but stare at your issues right in the face."~Kristine, Canada


first thing one must do is get to know yourself and what it is that you are looking for and what you would like to contribute in a relationships. Remember, we are placing our order for our mate by sending out a vibrational signal

WHY YOUR BELOVED IS PUSHING YOU AWAY

Spiritual relationships do not operate like the physical relationships we have grown addicted to. In a spiritual relationship, two people are drawn together because their souls are ready to evolve further along their path and ther souls have sent out a 'ready signal' to the one that shares a similiar vibrational frequency.

In meeting, the bond seems instant, a feeling of finally being home. This feeling is actually a soul recognition. In a spiritual relationship, you form a relationship from the etheral down to the denser physical level. The bond is very deep and very beautiful. But for the one that needs the most healing out of the pair, this bonding process is very frightening.

Every one of my clients that come to me seek me out because they are perplexed by their beloveds' 'wacky' behavior. One minute they are in deep love with them, ready to give them their life, then the next minute they won't answer their phone, emails or text like they do not exist. This leaves the other partner not only confused, but extremely frustrated and in heartwrenching pain.

Why does your beloved do these things? FEAR. This dynamic is call the 'push-pull dance' and its a necessary part of the bonding process in connecting from a spiritual relationship. Most forget that the coming together for any relationship is for the purpose of spiritual growth, first...all else is fringe benefits. Relationships are our incubator for development. In this sacred space, we have the opportunity to correct erroneous thoughts and behaviors about ourselves and others. We have been miseducated to believe that relationships SHOULD BE this smoothsailing paradise where we lick each other until our skin gets ashy...wrong!

When two connect, you will usually find one who holds the anchoring light and one who hold the ambivalent light. Although the love is very strong between the two, it appears that the one who holds the 'ambivalent light' is playing games, but on a deeper level, they are afraid of the intensity of the union. This intensity filtrates down to the soul of a person, its the light of love. The intensity of this love is unlike anything they have ever felt before, so they do not know how to respond, but to run. They come back because they know from a deeper level that this is their path to enlightment.

So what does the one who holds the 'anchoring light' do? Stay the course, have compassion and deepen your spiritual practice. You too are being quickened in your spirit, but the lesson is different, the lesson is on trust and faith. Resist responding in anger and lashing out by playing games. learn to process the feelings that come up in creative ways such as writing, singing, dancing or any energetic release tehniques.

Relationships are changing to it's original intent from Spirit, so all the other junk and misconceptions that we have accumulated must be eradicated. This process must be done on evry level of our being. Those of us that has the ability to hod greater spiritual light and the healing capacity are usually the 'front runners' in this evolutionary stage. be brave and continue to trust and walk your path, no one will be left alone, no one!

Your Friend,
Keesha

Spiritual relationships 101: COOPERATION

Most relationships that are in crisis can be attributed to the fact that they an ineffective cooperation system. There is a natural order to the cosmos. Nothing exists without meaning and all things are connected. Life is this carefully constructed symphony that is all inclusive and cooperative.

Our ancestors were successful in developing the sciences and surviving in great abundance because they knew that in order to live and thrive in this world, you must have a cooperative relationship with everything and everyone. They understood the power of cooperation and they knew the grave consequences of non-cooperation. We have been so far removed from our ancestral wisdom and customs that we have forgotten the nature and practice of cooperation, or working together.

In order for cooperation to be possible and have power, there must be three elements; the first element is a governing basic assumption, a rule in which the pattern of cooperation will function. The second element is a system of feedback. There has to be interplay, a sort of dialogue between all parties involved in the cooperative effort. The final element is adaptability. There can be any factors that disrupt plans or cooperative goals, so the system must be willing to adapt to keep the efforts flowing.

For example, in order for grass to grow, there is a system of feedback between the earth, air, grass and sunlight. The basic assumption is that each element will show up to play its part in the growth of the grass at a specific time of year for a specific duration. Let’s say one year the grass did not grow healthy, thick and strong, one can look to the cooperative elements to figure out the problem; either the feedback system was off or the governing basic assumption was tinkered with. In either event, one or more of the parties within this cooperative system will adapt to the disruption of their goal to grow healthy, strong green grass. There could be a million variables as to why the grass did not grow as planned, but as long as there is a cooperative system in place there is a greater chance for goals to be met.

Cooperative Relationships

Successful romantic relationships have functional cooperation systems. There is feedback, a basic assumption and adaptability; to ensure that the relationship survives and evolves. As mentioned previously, relationships that are in crisis have an ineffective cooperative system. These relationships do have some level of cooperation but oftentimes the system in set up to be counterproductive to the growth and expansion of the relationship.

Kia and Nasair

Kia and Nasair is a young couple looking to start a family. Lately they have been arguing over whether or not Kia will quit her job to stay home and be a full time mom. Nasair feels like Kia should quit her job and be a full time mom. He believes that it is Kia’s duty as a wife and mother to raise their children on a fulltime basis. Then there is Kia who is absolutely livid with Nasair’s demands for her to give up her fulltime career , a career she spend many years and lots of money to get training for. She didn’t want to spend all of her younger tears cooped up in the house slowly become brain dead and out of touch with the greater world.

It’s obvious that Kia and Nasair’s cooperative system is becoming counterproductive, and if not straightened out, the whole relationship will implode in on itself.

Governing Basic Assumptions
Every party in a cooperative relationship brings its own governing assumptions. Meaning they have an overall idea of what position they are going to play. The basic assumptions are the most fundamental element to a cooperative relationship because if the assumptions are not clear and the positions are not in alignment with each other, the system will be chaotic and opposing.

Nasair’s basic assumption is that men should work and women should raise the children. He knew that Kia loved her career and worked hard at it. But he assumed that once it came time to start a family, that Kia would happily give up her career to stay home and raise the children.

Kia’s basic assumption is that a woman should contribute more to life than just having babies and serving men. Kia knew that Nasair had different ideas about the role women played in family and society, but she assumed that once it came time to start a family, he would take into consideration her passion for her career and respect her stance on the role of women.

It’s obvious that both Kia and Nasair’s governing basic assumptions are not in alignment with each other and must be revisited and revised in order for them even to determine whether having a family is an option for the relationship.

Feedback
The feedback between the couple had become confusing at best. Neither one could decipher the others signals on which way to bring their goal to completion. Their basic assumptions are governing the flow and content of feedback that circulates between them.

Adaptability
There are many options for this couple to work together in reaching their goal, but they must allow themselves to become adaptable to each other. This may take revisiting and restructuring their basic assumptions, which is not easy for some couples, but it is quite apparent where the block to cooperation exists.

Your Love Relationship


If you find that your relationship is suffering, before you throw in the towel and give up, first take a look at your system of cooperation. Here are some steps that can ensure your system runs smoothly every time.

Write down the goal. What is the goal that you both are working towards? Writing down the goal is extremely important. Each person’s minds and emotions are usually scattered at this point, so it’s best to pull the goal out of your minds by writing it down clearly for both to see and in this way you have a tangible guide post to return to when necessary.

There usually are more than one goal couples are working towards, but in working to readjust the flow of your system, it’s advisable to work on one goal at a time until you get a rhythm that is more harmonious and effective.

Reflect and write down your basic assumption. Once the goal is written out, the next step is to take time to think about your assumptions as it relates to this goal. Here are some questions you can answer for starters:
• What position did you agree to play?
• What are some of the ideas, resources or time you assumed you would be contributing?
• What ideas, resources or time you assumed your mate would contribute?
• What are your assumptions about the benefits or disadvantages of achieving this goal?

Evaluate your feedback system. This is where you will unravel the ways in which you and your mate relay information to one another. This part may take some careful observation because oftentimes we act and speak to one another in reactionary ways. We do not pay attention to what is really being communicated. A word to the wise when evaluating your feedback style, please suspend judgment. Your only task at this time is to reflect, observe and make notes.

Have an Adaptability Plan. My mama use to always tell me to never place all my eggs in one basket. This adage instilled in me that my plans or goal may not go as I envisioned in my mind, and that I must make enough room to change or adapt to reach my goal.

• What are some ways that you are willing to adjust to make your cooperative system work?
• What are your deal breakers?
• Where have you been unmovable or stubborn?


Once both you and your mate have completed these steps, you can now sit down and discuss new ways to cooperate with one another to reach your goal.

Some may ask, but what if my mate does not want to do this list with me, what shall I do? You can complete this list as an individual, this is being adaptable. In truth, it should not take for your mate to change for you to change; the system will change even if only one decides to come on board, so why not make your influence positive and effective.

In sum, we must approach our love relationships with the same forethought and consciousness as our ancestors, who were wise enough to fall in line with the process of nature. They studied the workings of things that sustained their lives and the life around them. They replicated these systems of nature throughout all aspects of their lives and relationship. They knew that cooperation is the governing principle to achieving great things. Many Blessings on your journey!

When Someone You Love Ain't Acting Right

I cannot count how many clients seek out my services because they are having problems with their mate’s behavior. To them, it seems like no matter how hard they try, their partners just don’t want to follow the “program”. They just cannot understand why someone who profess’ that they love them would do things like runaway, cheat or lie. They come to me feeling the terrible pain of anger, loneliness, frustration and sadness.

The men and women that I work with are not novice to spirituality. Most of them have a great deal of spiritual practice under their belts. They are out in the community sharing their experience strength and hope by helping others to find their path. Yet some of them don’t realize that to be enlightened takes more than having a consistent spiritual practice and feeling connected to the Divine. It means we have to continuously expand our entire being so that it is capable of holding and disseminating light or Source energy. In order for us to be harvesters of the light, our emotional, physical, psychological and ethereal bodies must undergo purification and balancing process that forces us to evolve to a higher level.

There are many ways Spirit can help us go through the evolution process of purification and balancing. For example, those who need to come into alignment with their physical body may experience a series of health crisis or injuries. But for those of us that need the most balancing in our emotional and psychological bodies, Spirit assists us in our evolution via our personal relationships.

We all know by now that our partner reflect the stability or instability of our inner world and the drama that is being played out in our relationships is the very drama that needs to be healed inside of ourselves. But here’s where we trip ourselves up; instead of searching out our inner dysfunctional patterns and healing them, we keep our focus and energy on our partners’ behavior.

There’s this adage about relationships that says, ‘the horns on his head fits the holes in her head.” Meaning, the partner in our lives has the very ingredient that we need to bring up into balance. Now that’s not to say that your mate completes you, its saying that they provide the exact experience or situation to help you to complete yourself.

I recently had a male client whose girlfriend left him. Without warning, she packed her bag and left with another man, needlesstosay, he was almost inconsolable. For months he cried, cussed and drank too much. He could not wrap his head around why the love of his life would do such a thing. He had given her everything she wanted, he would tell me over and over at each of our sessions, yet she still was not satisfied!

Healing Techniques
So what do you do when someone you love ain’t acting right? Should you leave them? Should you get revenge? What? When hit with a devastating blow like my client, most of us blame the partner who is acting out. ‘How dare they do that to me,’ we say to ourselves. Our rage and sadness seems to fill our entire being, and finally we become fixated on either getting revenge or never letting that happen again to us.
We must realize that what we are experiencing with our partner can be used as a service towards our Higher Good, if we allow it to. When I said that to my client, he told me that I was out of my mind, and if I spent one day in his pain, I would not be saying that. Once he was able to calm down long enough, I was able to provide him with some tools to assist him in his healing and growth, the very tools that I will share with you.

Invoke Spiritual Guidance. To invoke spiritual guidance means to ask for spiritual assistance to help you get calm and clear long enough to feel present with our experience. Most people do this by praying or going into a meditative state.
Ask for clarity. Our thoughts and emotions become so skewed and out of focus that our five senses and even our intuition becomes distorted. When you ask Spirit for clarity, also ask that Spirit give you a sign that you have received it. You may get a tingling feeling in your body, a book may drop on the floor, the TV volume may go up unexpectedly; Spirit can use a variety of ways to let you know that It has delivered your request, but you must pay attention!

Ask for revelation. Ask Spirit to reveal to you all the situations and circumstances that brought you to this healing opportunity. Sometimes it’s best to ask Spirit specific questions such as; what has my partner come into my life to teach me? What do I need to do to feel better and move forward? If you follow the first two steps you will be clear enough to ask the questions specific for your situation. Please keep in mind that this step is not a one shot deal. This step can take weeks and even months to get through; it all depends on factors such as timing, and your readiness to face the truth. Every persons answer to their revelation will come about different. You may be prompted to read a book, hear a song, or you may recall a memory or a dream. Again, the important thing is that you remain open to receive information that will reveal the clues to your healing.

Record your progress. I personally prefer writing out my insights, feels and progress in a journal. You can also use recording devices such as a tape recorder or a webcam. This process not only gives you a measure of your growth, but it is very cathartic to release all of that information and emotion that can sometimes get stuck inside our psyche.

Detach from the Drama! This is very important! There’s no need for you to get on the phone cussing and sniveling about how wrong you were treated. You don’t need to get a blow by blow run down on what your ‘transgressor’ has done, is doing and planning on doing. You don’t need to stand toe to toe in a screaming match, nor do you need to call their job and tell their boss how much of a boil they are. No, remember we are focusing on healing and releasing the energetic attachment within us that is bringing these situations into our experience. So keep the focus on you no matter what!

Have Compassion. In the eyes of Spirit, we are all innocent and guilty, Meaning we have all been the victim and the villain. If you can see yourself and your partner in this light, it will be easier for you to detach from the hard negative emotions. Compassion for self is not self pity. Compassion feels the sorrow, yet holds the intention to alleviate it. Compassion for your partner is not condoning their misdeeds. Compassion for your partner is recognizing that they too are learning and evolving, and holding the intention to either support them in their efforts or not to stand in the way of their choices.

In closing, relationships are the incubator for our spiritual growth. If we have the courage to take responsibility for our own suffering and healing you will be amazed at much inner strength, confidence and wisdom you will receive. Please remember that healing and growth takes time and cannot be rushed. Take as long as you need before moving on to the next step. You will know when it’s time to move on forward.

As a precaution, if you feel like you are extremely sad, lonely, angry or frustrated, please reach out for professional medical support. Sometimes the extra support and objective listener can do wonders for our progress. Many Blessings on your next level of spiritual evolution!

Keesha Washington is the founder and spiritual relationship coach at Soul Mate Assistance. She assists soul mates in making sense of the confusion and conflict they are having with their soul mate . She helps soul mates identify and remove any impediments that are blocking their soul mate connection. And she helps individuals step by step in attracting their soul mate into their life.

©2010 all rights reserved Keesha Washington

Spiritual Relationship Restoration 101: COMPASSION

I assert over and over that the old format of relationships is dying as we speak. With the advancement of technology, science and medicine, the survival based relationships are no longer necessary; yet in still, marriages and families are falling apart. And although we have evolved on a material plane, we are still suffering from emotional and spiritual immaturity.

One mode of survival that we have taken on throughout history, that has done us more harm than good, is the false concept of individuality. We were so vulnerable to the elements, animals and disease, our primary focal was on protecting ourselves from these things. We learned to become islands unto ourselves. In the course of shielding from things, we have taken on the attitude of individuality.

The poisonous venom of individuality has become popularized especially through our capitalistic system. To have society tell it, it’s okay to only think about satisfying your needs and desires, even at the expense of someone else. The concept of individuality has created an emotional and ethereal imprint of dysfunction in us, giving us limited access to higher states of consciousness, personal empowerment cooperation and love. Absolutely nothing in the great cosmos acts independent. Scientist and metaphysicians agree that the most fundamental truth of all truths is that all of life and ‘death’ is interconnected. Anything that tries to break away from the interconnectedness will eventually kill itself.

Individuality has limited our ability to feel the full range of our emotions. Individuality has also limited our ability to feel responsibility towards each other. People who live their lives solely from the ‘ I gotta get mines, you got yours to get’ philosophy have closed hearts and are unable to cooperate in loving and supportive relationships. They are not properly equipped to appropriately handle the fluctuations of relating to another.

We have lost our ability to care, to serve and to suffer with one another. Our compassion has been compromised and it must be resurrected in order for us to have successful relationships. It’s unfortunate that a unified response to pain and suffering only occurs when catastrophic events happen in the world, but what about the suffering in the home and in our community?

Compassion is the sympathetic consciousness of others distress and the desire to alleviate it. It is more vigorous than empathy. Compassion usually prompts one to take action towards ending the suffering. To be compassionate in our personal relationships requires that we first drop the individuality person. It also requires for us to learn how to function as an interdependent unit, where I can acknowledge your pain without the fear of becoming engulfed in it.

The demonstration of compassion in our relationships gives everyone the opportunity to learn and grow. It creates a space for love to identify and remove errors. Compassion is not pity, nor is it enabling. Just because you have the desire to alleviate pain, does not always mean that you should or can do it.

In sum, I invite all of us to release the false notion that we are own CPU (Centralized Programming Units). Our natural and divine programming is love and connection. Take time to tune into your relationships “issues” with a just and loving attitude. Let us all take responsibility for holding up our part of love.

Keesha Washington is the founder and spiritual relationship coach of Soul Mate Assistance. She assists soul mates in making sense of the confusion and conflict they are having with their soul mate . She helps soul mates identify and remove any impediments that are blocking their soul mate connection. And she helps individuals step by step in attracting their soul mate into their life.