5 PRINICPLES F SELF LOVE

Sometimes we find ourselves in very chaotic and dysfunctional positions in our lives, and we may go to a friend or an elder for direction and support, and it seems without fail, they’d give advice along the lines that echoes, “well, you need to love yourself more.” It sounds right, so keep quiet and listen, but all the while we are trying to conceptualize in our minds, well what is self love? I don’t hate myself, so what is it that they are seeing in me that shows that I m not loving myself?

Self love is such a vast arena, and it means specific things to each person. But to simplify this very broad subject, what I can say that pertains to all of us in self love, is that it is not just merely a feeling of love for oneself, but it’s an ACT.

Let’s look at the definition of love and all that it takes to sustain a loving relationship. It takes five Principles for love to be maintained:

1. The ability to TRUST; to trust that what maybe occurring in our love one’s life has a Divine purpose, so we trust the unfoldment process.

2.The ability to ALLOW; The ability to allow people to choose what’s best for them, even if it means they choose not to be in our lives anymore.

3.The ability to ACCEPT: The ability to accept the path that they take, even if it appears to be self destructive to us.

4.The ability to be KIND; To be kind, even when we are still judging and discerning what is going on.

5.The ability to have FAITH; faith in the ability that people can change in more positive ways.

These are examples of what we aspire to give in a relationship with others. Now in the case of loving oneself, all we do is turn these outward acts and expressions of loving for someone else onto ourselves.

Self love is all about the way we behave towards ourselves to help make our lives more productive, healthy and peaceful. For example, say if you have recently come into the awareness that you are living too far above your means. You are tired of paying for a lifestyle that no longer serves you. So you decide to let go of the unnecessary things in your life. By doing this, your life becomes less stressful, and you are able to make room for to include more activities, people and situations that truly represent you.

By committing these acts of self love you are applying the 5 principles in making your decision. One; you are Trusting that making the change to reducing your overhead cost in your lifestyle is going to bring a positive outcome for you, even though you have no tangle proof that it will. Two;Allowing yourself the room to make that change knowing that you may initial have some difficulties letting go of things you have grown accustomed to, or allowing yourself to feel the emotions of choices that you made that lead up to this now overburdened lifestyle. Three; Acceptingthat however these changes turn out is for your highest good. Four; Kindness, not to beat ourselves up for choices we have made in the past or for not instantly growing use to the said changes. Five; Faith in by making this change it can now be a permanent way of being, so that you no longer allow yourself to live out of your personal integrity.

So in a nutshell, self love is all about taking action in your life in the areas that you can control. To no longer allow ourselves to be set up to feel and be victimized by life’s circumstances. Little by little, we can make these changes and begin to feel better and live by standards that are uniquely our own. This will enable us to love others in more expansive ways because we are taking care of ‘home first’.

Your Friend,

Keesha
Keesha Michelle Washington is a Spiritual Life Guide/Advisor that supports men and women in living in integrity with their spiritual values and principles. She also assists men and women in finding and maintaining spiritual relationships. She is available to answer questions about spiritual relationships and spiritual growth. You can learn more about her service work by visiting her websites.